My New Future.

I got really brainwashed recently by my parents. They keep on telling me that it's more better for me to manage my own business and that i can't take the suffer to work for people. I might agree with that as owning your own business is always the best. The most successful people in this world are mostly businessmen. So guess i would just follow what they been telling me. Around last year, my dad bought up a web design company for me to venture in. But, i was in college that time so i don't put 100% effort in it.

It's been since a year and i dun really care about it, because it's not the time i really wan to put any effort in business. I was thinking of freelancing at 1st. But since i'm kinda busy, i didn't bother to sort the company back in order. So after a year of nothing, since i'm just working on web templates and so on. And also all my R&D thingy. I'm new in computer line, so all i can is research and development.

So recently, my dad keep on pushing me and i was like, let me finish and let me be ready to face this line. But after some deep thinking, i think let's give it a try, y not right? I got a business meeting today. I was kinda happy at 1st. My BIG project. It might make me earn arnd 4-5k as it's a very very big project. If from what i calculate and the market, the project cost arnd 9k.

I was of course happy at first. I went there with my father, and i kinda blank for while. I need to brush up my skill of communication with those businessman. I can't really answer their question. But in the end, i don't get the deal, the things he want it to be, i can't accomplished it. They wan a e-commerce site, which mean they wan a site something like eBay. so fuck. It just make me so sucks there. I just lost a almost 10k project.

Reason i don't take up the project is that i don't want to make anyone lost trust for my company. I can't promise the client where i can't fulfill it. so well, this kinda site is still under my R&D project. So i guess, i really need to spent more time on it. Hopefully i can really step into this line without any problem blocking me.

Sigh. I don't really know why, but i'm kinda depressed about it. Y can't i master web thingy? I think i need months to be prepare and face the market. Haha. Pray for my luck then.

Prove that I've been really working on my stuff. I got 2 laptop and a pc at my dad office for me to multi task.

One for photoshop, one for dreamweaver and one for finding info.

ok. I'm tired already. No more bragging here.

Trust

Let me explain on why i would blog about this topic. There are few reason which really make me wanted to explain about this thing. i apologize to anyone who felt offended or if anyone which might be offended by this post, please ignore this post.

First, let me explain what is the meaning of TRUST.

trust –noun

1.	reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.

2.	confident expectation of something; hope.

In this world, when a person betray another person trust, it very hard for that person to gain back trust the another people gave him/her.

Ok. Fuck it. I feel sorry to write about this but, i need to express out something. In love, when you betray a person trust, you'll be very hard to gain back the trust. One thing for sure, what the hell that is wrong with people nowadays? I'm really sad, too sad to be true.

I dunno why, but i felt disturded about girls. SOME people told me that guys are hateful. Guys always cheat girls. Guy never felt the hurt that the girl gone thru. Guys never really put the heart on the girl which they are dating. Guys never care about the girls. Guys tends to demand for what they have and in the end let the girls shallow all the hurt by herself.

See this girl, i never said that guys are good but you need to know, not every single guy in this world is like that kind of person. Maybe never in your life you experience a nice guy, it because of YOUR attitude, looking over those handsome guys and think they are you prince of your life. FUCK, i tell you, When you really got played by them, you'll know what it feel to simply fall in love for those handsome guys.

I didn't say that all the handsome guys are playboy or anything, but it just so not fair in this world that people do fall in love with those playboys and naughty guys although they know they will get hurt in the end of the day. I read so many blogs, there's on from the Co-founder of nuffnang, Timothy Tiah. He say that girl tends to be with AH BENG that those with a good career. but i feels it's 50-50 correct and wrong. I dunno la, but one thing i wan to tell that SOMEBODY that we guys also felt hurt when we got cheated by you ladies but we never show it out. Do you know that a guy also have feelings?

In the end of a relationship, people would say that the guys will walk happily away and the girls will end up crying none stop. But heck, when a guy really love that girls, he would also cry, CRY out all the sadness and follow up by making himself drunk to forget the unhappiness. Please, do really understand a person before u really making fools of yourself.

Back to the point. You trust your partner, and in the end she betray your trust and u found out. I just felt that, you don't want to be really that heartless until you need to play us, guys, like a dumb puppet which you might thing is fun. If we're to find out anything, it wont be that fun in the end. Come on, if you don't love us anymore, why don't you just break up with us, rather than you cheat outside.

It's just that i'm tired with this all of questions. I'm REALLY REALLY tired of Love things, Love issues. I'm wondering, why in this world, gays existed. Think it this way, when you love that person so much, you would just do anything for her, i mean ANYTHING but then when she just hurt you and dump you like that, what would you feel? you can't accept the facts and you turn yourself to guys.

What is wrong with this world? Girls hate guys, keep on complaining that we're bad guys, always hurt them, and on the other hand, we guys would just say vice versa. Damn.. True love never exist in this world, i do believe it exist last time, but not after so many things gone through. Too many things that make me more in believing that there will never exists. NEVER!

In my life, there are just so many things that i regreted. I regret on how i treated my exs, on why they leave me and be with others, i regret on why am i like this, why i never have a stable relationship, i do anything for you, but in the end, i get nothing and i the one that will be crying out loud.

I have friends, alot of friend. I'm truly sad to hear any heart breaks story. SOME people tell me that they feel sad to hear that their friends broke up. But you know, i were the couple and when i found out this relationship never would work out, i would choose to let you go, better than i put in so much effort and in the end i got very very hurt.

You know, that SOMEONE who told me you hate guys, please think out of the box. Think if you really love that person and that person really love you, would you be hurt? Think of your personalities, if nothing change, why would that guy treat you coldly? and If you were big enough to think of those handsome playboys, i would guarantee you, you'll get hurt in end and u start to fucking more hate guys. Think about it. (btw, this concept also apply to guys). You are big enough to judge this.

I don't mean to hurt anyone here, especially the ladies, but i do want you all to know our guys feeling. We're never that heartless and easy as you all think about us. This purpose of post is to express out my long long time rants that been in my heart. Ignore this if you think that my point is wrong.

Dream of the day

I fell in love with the moon tonight.. Haha.. dun ask me why but deep in my heart i was thinking this:

Imagine a candle light dinner beside the beach, a nice jazz song playing in the background, a beautiful lady sitting opposite you, sipping a glass of red wine. After dinner, you got up and ask the lady to dance under the bright and beautiful moonlight. Then when you in the mid of dancing, you kneel down and propose to the lady. haha.. how nice?!

Okok, i'm dreaming again. swt. but look at the moon!

Look at the moon. Picture thanks to Tong.

OK, after being 2 siau kia on the road outside of his house, taking picture of the moon with different setting on the camera, i went in and pick up some stuff from his Laptop. Some program and the photos. After that hang arnd his house until, err, we decided to go to the Autocity MCD to hang out. I not suppose to go out tonight but i desperately need those program, so hell, i promise my parent to be back home early tonight.

I'm not feeling well, and i only feel that when i'm driving to MCD. With the air-cond still on, i can feel the heat in my body and yet i hang out at MCD until 11.30 where i just can't take it anymore. I drove home straight and now i'm here blogging. I hope i wont get sick, i got 2 more exam next week, which i cant afford to miss it.

swt. I'm so sick. God help me please! My whole body ache and i can't take it anymore. and yet i hate medicine.

I'm so so so sick.

haih.